Monday, 15 August 2011

My Big Fat Tipsy Wedding

There are times when one hangs on the long-range weather forecasts from a variety of sources which, for me, have always previously revolved around cricket matches. They generally change over time but accuracy improves the nearer the day comes. I'm rather pleased, however, that the BBC and Met Office were so disastrously wrong on Friday.

On the morning of our wedding, both were forecasting cloud and rain at around 4pm in the vicinity of the venue, exactly the time that photographs were scheduled to be taken in and around the golf club grounds and its sunken garden. How pleasing it was, therefore, to enjoy an hour of uninterrupted warm sunshine just as the cheeky chappie with the camera was moving guests around in front of various backgrounds.

That was just one of many potential hiccups which happily didn't materialise. Six months after our decision to 'go for it' and initial bookings being made, the day simply couldn't have been more perfect.

I'm not going to bore you with extensive details, but there are some highlights which some may be interested in. The first was my one committed anti-smoking uncle turning up prior to the ceremony and dropping a bag containing 55 cigars in my lap! Damn good ones too. Gobsmacked? Of course.

My long-term partner, and now officially Mrs P, was moved to tears during the vows ... which in turn pushed me close, I can tell ya'!

Speeches - of which I have performed many over the years in front of a wide variety of audiences - have never posed problems before, yet my Groom speech occupied my mind, and shattered my nerves, like none before. I can only assume it was because I had afforded this one the utmost importance and that I was desperate that it be delivered well (for the first time in my life, I even planned it and used notes, which is alien to me). The laughter and tears at all the right times suggest I did OK.

Regularly reading fellow jewel thief - and occasional commenter - Bear Witch thought the whole day was great, and Penny Dreadful, who came along with Katabasis, was rightly impressed with the shapes I was throwing once the pre-speech Dutch courage kicked in heavily.

Tony Manero, eat your heart out.

In far too short a time, we were heading off to our hotel for the night. Rose on the pillow, fruit bowl, chocs and Champers and, YES, a celebratory Cuban thanks to this fine piece of forward planning, even if I say so myself.

Because there are still hotels which recognise that people who spend a hell of a lot of money would like to be catered for, despite the attentions of miserabilists seeking to eradicate all time-honoured pleasurable activities - in their march for further state funding utopian health - at the expense of property rights and personal choice.

I even gained a new reader for the night. She being my new wife, who doesn't normally do all this tabloid guff but read all the 46 messages that were below Friday's article at the time, with a Champagne flute in her hand and a tear or several in her eyes.

Yes, you made her cry on her wedding night. For that, I thank every one of you.


George Speller said...

Congratulations DP.
Why can't I ever find a hotel with smoking rooms?

penny_dreadful said...

Yes sir, you CAN boogie... ;-)

Oldrightie said...

Mrs P now made an honest woman of! All that living in sin swept away in one lovely day! Many congratulations. As for The BBC weather forecasts. As rubbish as the rest of their fellow chatterati.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Glad to hear it all went well. Top headline.

Angry Exile said...

Glad you both had a good day.

Anonymous said...

Lovely! It sound like just the day you both ordered. Congrats again and here's to wedded bliss! "To Mr & Mrs P!"


Tom Paine said...

Congratulations. I am so glad it went well for you. I hope you both get to treasure those memories for many happy decades.

Henry North London 2.0 said...

Congratulations from me too

Pat Nurse MA said...

Congrats to you both - oh how I wish I'd seen that dancin'

Anybody got a YouTube vid?

penny_dreadful said...

Sadly I was too busy laughing my arse off to record it... *kicks self*

Trooper Thompson said...

Good for you. Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

Give the hotel a plug, Dick (unless that sign is yours - I thought we were going to see a photo of a shower cap over the smoke detector)

Dick Puddlecote said...

Ta for the kind messages. :)

George @ Anon @ 17:37: It was a Holiday Inn celebration package. I understand from Bear Witch that many of their hotels offer smoking rooms. Worth supporting a company which considers all customers, yes?

Penny Dreadful: Careful with the loose tongue there, missy. My rep could plunge from tabloid to cheesy! ;)

timbone said...

Congratulations Mr and Mrs P, may you enjoy many more smoking rooms together

JuliaM said...

Here's to a long and happy life together!

Large Melot Please said...

Time to sit down and refresh that champagne glass as I would like to offer you my best wishes too.#

Dave Atherton xx

penny_dreadful said...

"Penny Dreadful: Careful with the loose tongue there, missy. My rep could plunge from tabloid to cheesy! ;)"

If you put some effort into FB stalking me, I'm sure you can collect enough ammunition with which to arm yourself against any future attacks ;-)

Paul said...

You alcoholic. dirty, filthy smoker, you. You should be ashamed of yourselves, enjoying yourselves like you have been doing. You're killing yourselves and everyone you touch and you don't even care.

No, seriously for a moment:

Sounds like a fantastic day was had by all - especially the bride. Brilliant stuff. Keep banging that drum as loud as you possibly can, Dick - for all of us. I especially enjoyed that bit with the door for more reasons than one. Imagine all those miserable people seething at your joy. Knowing that some people hate me for who I am (a drinker and very fat) keeps me going whenever I get down. Brilliant stuff. All the best to you both and the kiddywinks. :)